This Week’s Purge: Shoes


The shoes in this pictures went into my truck and on to Goodwill. The boots were hard to get rid of since they are in good shape and they were expensive when I bought them, even though I almost never wore them. I held on to them for as long as I did out of some unfulfilled fantasy that a hunky cowboy would knock on my door one evening  and take me out two-stepping. I don’t know any cowboys and I don’t know how to two-step, so giving away the boots was a smart move. Letting go of that fantasy was even smarter.

One pair of shoes, the ones on the far left, always looked to me like they’d been run over by a car. The other brown shoes were nice, in a broken-in-kind-of-way, but they were fairly uncomfortable to wear. The same was true for the flip-flops.

Okay, I hear you. “Um, is that a fanny pack I see?” Yes, it is a fanny pack. Don’t judge. I’m 46 at the time of this writing. How many other 46 year olds have owned fanny packs? I kept that fanny pack because I loved it! Yes! I loved my fanny pack! It had a perfect amount of zippered compartments and credit card slots. It even had a see-through slot for a driver’s license. I held on to the hope that one day fanny packs would make a come back. But I have to admit that even in their heyday (when was that, exactly?), they looked pretty dorky.

“No, I wasn’t pointing out the fanny pack, but thanks for asking. Actually, I was wondering if that was a murse. Is that a murse I see, or is it a European shoulder bag? … Bwaaaaahahahahahaha!”

Sigh. Yes, I owned a man purse. But I don’t anymore, okay? So stop your laughing.


Seriously. Can we move on now?

Let me tell you about the shoes I have left. I want to know if you think what I decided to keep is excessive. Here’s the list:

  1. Cross-training shoes that I only wear at the gym
  2. Quick drying hiking shoes for the summer and for weekends
  3. Brown casual shoes
  4. Black casual shoes (they’re the same make and model, just different colors)
  5. Flip-flops
  6. Birkenstock sandals (I really don’t need these since I have the flip-flops. But I just bought them last year, I’m gay, and I couldn’t bring myself to give them away today)
  7. Fuzzy house shoes (These might go too. What do you think?)
  8. Real, lace-up army boots. (What? You think I have a fantasy that some hunky army guy is going to knock an my door and demand to see my boots? Well you’d be wrong! They were a gift from way back. I keep them so I can keep my feet warm and dry when it snows here in Middle Tennessee. Or for when I go walking in the rain [about as often as it snows])
  9. Ratty tennis shoes (I wear them when I mow the yard)

That’s it. I have 9 pairs of shoes. If I were really doing The 100 Thing Challenge, that would be just shy of a tenth of the number of items I could have on my list. I’m not officially doing The 100 Thing Challenge, but I want to ask you, ‘lil saints, is it excessive for one man to own 9 pairs of shoes?