I’m Tired of Waiting But I Don’t Want to Move to Canada

“Gay and lesbian people have families, and their families should have legal protection, whether by marriage or civil union. A constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriages is a form of gay bashing, and it would do nothing at all to protect traditional marriages (Corretta Scott King in 2004).”

It feels weird to realize this woman is talking about me. If I personalize what she said, it gets even weirder:

Doug is gay and he has a family. His family should have legal protection, whether by marriage or civil union. A law banning same-sex marriage is a form of gay bashing, and it would do nothing at all to protect traditional marriages.

FamilyPeople who are smarter than I am have spoken and written about the similarities and differences between racial civil rights and sexual orientation civil rights. I’m reluctant to emphasis the the sameness of the two because I don’t want to hijack the raw, emotional, and for many, very personal history of the racial civil rights struggle in this country. But it’s sad that I’ve grown so accustomed to the way things are that I don’t spend much time questioning them. Doesn’t that sound familiar?

I’ve lived with my partner for almost eleven years. If he or I died tomorrow, I think things would be okay, knowing our families, but I don’t know that for sure. I’m not one hundred percent sure our employers would honor our pension designations or even allow us bereavement time off. So far, when one of us has been in the emergency room, there’s been enough gay nurses around that we’ve been able to visit with no questions asked. But there’s nothing in place that guarantees that right in the future. Am I denied any other rights? I don’t even know.

Like the title says, I’m tired of waiting but I don’t want to move to Canada. Frank would love it there. But it’s too cold for me.

One thought on “I’m Tired of Waiting But I Don’t Want to Move to Canada

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