I woke up this morning with a severe case of the wants. I know myself well enough to be able to identify why this was an issue today, but going into the why of it isn’t something I want to do or think will be particularly helpful. Listing the wants in my head, and subsequently in this post, was tempting, but then I pictured what that would look like and didn’t like what I saw. It was across as whiney and ungrateful. So this initial paragraph is all you’re going to get about want because it’s as far as I’m willing to go.
Instead, I’m going to write about what I have. I hope it will bring me to a place of gratitude and contentment, rather than a place of neediness and desire. I realize gratitude and contentment are in themselves feelings that I want, but these are infinitely more positive and healthy states of being than the waste of energy involved in pining after futile longings or insatiable hungers.
I have a supportive family that includes my lover of fifteen years, our four children, my mother, and my sister. I have friends who are willing to listen to me when I’m down, and others who are present for me when I need to blow off steam with some fun. Though I’ve experienced some illness, through the miracle of medicine and excellent doctors I am healthy right now. I find joy in lifting light weights, engaging in cardio activities, and in practicing yoga. I have a comfortable home that not only shelters me and keeps me warm, but also houses belongings that entertain me and increase my sense of happiness. My car is dependable. I have a relatively low-stress job that pays the bills and work that I’m able to keep limited to working hours.
I am grateful for more, much more. Too much for a single post. I didn’t know this was where I was going, but I think I’m being led to continue posting my gratitude list. I’ve seen similar posts on Facebook, why not commit to the practice here? I’m a few day behind, but that’s no reason to stop me. For the remainder of November, I’m going to post something for which I am grateful each day.